On all types of pain...

Also on tonight’s thought runway was the fact that I didn’t get it about pain before now.  Like I didn’t realize that you were supposed to treat it like a bitch.  I thought I had to tiptoe around it, take a pill, do an exercise, take a hot bath, and damn…pretty much romance the damn thing.  But what was needed was for me to look at it, square in the face and say, “Um, step the fuck aside.” And for whenever pain decided to pop up again, for my response to be, “Anyway, I’m on my way.” 

I really cowarded down to it for 2.5 years.  I let it push me around and make a monopoly in my brain.  I read about it.  Researched it.  You’d think I was in love.  No.  None of this was the cure.  Meditating didn’t do much except help you cope in the moment. And meditating is good shit.  But the thing is, it just let the beast run amok when I was not in a meditative state, which is what happened 95% of my time.  Plus I have five kids, and really now?  Really? 

No, it needed firm action.  It was a weapon, a laser that needed to be shut out.  It needed a firm hand and a steady heart.  I needed to talk to it like a misbehaving youth.  We learned in our class that whenever a child throws up an excuse for this misbehavior when you are enforcing punishment, you say, “Nevertheless” and repeat the rule that they broke and “therefore” we are enforcing this rule.  It goes on to say something about loving the child and that is why you were protecting them, yada, yada.  But my pain only required the first half-the firm part.  So it goes: Pain! Ow! And I go: Nevertheless, I am leading a full life today and you must accommodate that. 

I mean, now that I’ve written the two things out about me being mean to myself and self-inflicting emotional pain before others can AND being in physical pain….is it really any wonder?

Just read my Message from God today on Facebook….because I’m sure God takes every opportunity to communicate with us, we just don’t get it.  We’re dense little creatures.  Spirit is so light and feathery, floaty and soft.  But our human bodies are crazy dense.  They filter out so much.  Anyway….knowing that if I’ve opened the door, God may pay me a visit I requested this app on Facebook.  Since then I get some really uncanny messages.  

After coming to this conclusion about my self-inflicted emotional pain and possibly resulting physical pain I received the following Message from God:

“Pain is your wake-up call to awaken, to look deeper into yourself, to adjust the course of your life.”