5 Notes on Contentment

Contentment is defined as happiness and comfort.  However, I’ve always found a difference between contentment and happiness, although very similar in definition.  I believe that contentment has more endurance and staying power than happiness and comfort.  These things come and go.  The definition is backwards.  Having cultivated a life of contentment, you will find yourself both comfortable and happy.  How then are we to live a contented life?

Like any new habit, it takes time and persistence to the goal before it becomes a habit.  However, there is no worthier goal than that of your own contentment.  Please do not find it selfish….this pursuit of contentment.  When you are in a contented state, you are more likely to be kind to others and do meaningful work that benefits all involved.  The world needs more contented people.   Contented people take care of each other and the environment.

How, then, does one cultivate contentment in their lives?  Here are some ideas:

       1)  Experiences over Objects.  Remember, often, that is not what you possess materially that defines your quality of life but what actions you take.  It’s easy to believe that we can purchase ourselves a box of contentment.  That is the popular message today.  But we have all had the experience of purchasing something we thought for sure was going to improve our lives only to have the object fade in attraction over time.  Material possessions are temporary.  Experiences can be lived over and over.  Choose experiences over things  Choose travel over designer clothing or a class in a subject that interests you over another kitchen appliance (that will inevitably need cleaning and will eventually break down….trust me, it will).

    

2 2) Practice gratitude.  What do you have in life that is irreplaceable?  There are people, places, things that we have in our lives that get overlooked in the hustle and bustle.  Taking just a few minutes to be thankful for these things brings a lightness to your heart and reminds you that you do have what you need and if you don’t, the inspiration from this exercise will give you the energy needed to make the changes necessary to get your needs met.

3  3)  Employ positive thinking.  As a teacher of mine once taught, positive thinking is not the denial of the negative in life but rather a determination to look at the positive and focus on the good.  Sure, you know there are negative events in the world but focusing on the negative will not help the situation.  I was one of those who felt like I needed to “witness” to another’s pain.  That their story should be heard and I was playing tribute to the sufferer by listening to whatever story was on the news or reading it in the paper.  This is not true.  I am in a better place to actually enact change and help out when I am coming from a positive place.   

4   4) Remember the Serenity Prayer.  “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”  Fix those things that you can fix. Only you will make sure your needs are being met.  Even a stable relationship with a treasured spouse/partner  does not mean he/she will ensure all your needs are met and to expect someone else to be all-knowing and all-able to meet each and every one of your needs is to court trouble.  Get quiet with yourself on a daily basis and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”  The answers can be simple and easy or difficult.  But at least you’re beginning to meet that need by simply asking the question.

    

   5) Acceptance, a value unto itself, is very powerful and is what is called for in the second verse of the Serenity Prayer.  The thing with acceptance is that you have to wholeheartedly accept something before you have the power to change it.  But if you accept something, just in the interest of changing it, it doesn’t work.   There is freedom in acceptance, in knowing you’ve done all you can. 

These are just a few ways in which to invite contentment.  I will be sharing more.  But for right now, these are the basic five that form a solid foundation.  Living over acquiring, practicing gratitude, positive thinking, making necessary changes and accepting the things that we can not change.

Remember that a life that is contented is not a simple giving up and complacently accepting everything as it is.  A contented life still calls for you to follow your dreams and goals.  But it also expects that you recognize all that you already have and how rich you already are.