notes on a wayward son

I wanted to be mad when he told me he had ate my two deep-friend sugar donuts when he came home drunk last night.

But….

He told me while I was riding the high of watching him sign up for his high school diploma program at our local adult school.

So I sighed and said it was okay.

Later, he returned home from the store with my favorite candy because he could tell I was stressed out.

This is how this child keeps alive: Timing and generosity keep Grace on his side.

Also, I have too much sugar in my diet.

Messy Houses

Messy Houses

Today I might feel guilty and overwhelmed by the messy house.  I may want to give up and throw my hands in the air.  I once saw a sign that read, “A clean house is a sign of no internet connection,” but I’d ventured to say it is also a sign of no heartfelt connection.

Let’s be real-relationships are messy.  Having family and friends over as well as raising kids both contribute to a messy home.  But who would want to live in a sterile world—one where there is no connection at all?  Yes, living requires tidying.  But that doesn’t mean you should feel ashamed of your home each time it becomes unruly and needs tidying up.

Instead of exclaiming, “Wow, what a mess,” try remembering how it got that way.  Were your children playing and learning?  Did you have a memorable event with friends or family?  Remembering the real reasons behind the chaos makes you a lot less stressed out and doesn’t include any guilt associations.

Today I acknowledge that messy houses usually equal a lot of living being done.  I replace any feelings of guilt with waves of gratitude for the good times had.

Seeking Your Equilibrium

It's like being in the primate house. These kids, they're one step above flinging their poo sometimes.  They squawk at each other, in a constant squabble over anything as a way to prove their dominance in the family community. 

Sometimes you need a break.  The caretaker, you get worn out by the chaos.  I noticed that even Frannie (the cockatiel) reacts by screeching at them.  There's a ball of energy that pulsates and spins wherever too many children gather, especially if it is in too small an area. As an adult, you may nit notice this until it's too late.  You find yourself depleted and surrounded by insane monkey-kids. 

Nature.  Get them outside.  Get yourself outside.  Separate them.  Take a bath.  Something to disperse the disparate energies.  Cleanse, breathe, sigh, relax.

Special Needs Mothering

Me: “Talking to Isaac is like talking to God; You don't get any response and you just assume He/he heard you.”

My Hope Chest

My Hope Chest

Just like my life....

Just like me.

Spills, marks from kids,

A cat scratching post at times,

Sometimes too many things get piled on it

However, within, it stores memories of love and family,

Be it well-loved,

Love is an action...

I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because I love him.  And love is an action.